a day in the life

It's Been a Long Time

2011-07-15T19:35:00.000-07:00

Alright, alright. I know that it's been a long time. But let's not dwell. I got some things that have been bubbling up inside of me, and I just need to get them out.

1. I am not an advertising major. I don't have a degree in marketing. So, when push comes to shove, I realize that I don't have a whole lot of room to tell people what they should and shouldn't do. However, a company near me recently erected a new billboard, shooting for an obvious hot topic, zombies. The gist of the billboard is this: one half of it prepares you for a zombie outbreak, by showing a giant illustrated picture of a bloody chainsaw; the other half tells you the best preparation for a digital attack is their products and services, brandishing their company logo.

Okay...people. Come on. A chainsaw is possible THE WORST weapon you could possibly choose in case of a zombie attack. First, there is the mere problem of weight. When is the last time swung a chainsaw around? Okay, when is the last time you swung it around long enough to cut through the bodies of wave after wave of hungry undead? Alright, second problem: fuel. Not only are you going to have to lug the chainsaw around, you're going to need gallons of gasoline to keep it running. Lastly, let's talk about noise. The second you pull the chain on that mother, every single walker within earshot is going to be on you like white on rice. You better be a real artist with that chainsaw when the whole population of your city/town/rural village hears you ring the dinner bell. And don't even get me started on upkeep...

For those of you with further questions, do yourself a huge favor and prepare yourself for the worst with this gem.

Alright, that's out of the way. Now, let's slow it down a bit and talk about something good. Let me tell you why you should listen to Ben Folds. Ben is just a guy. He could be someone you passed on the street, the goofy kid you played with in junior high school band, or that dude who cut you off on the freeway earlier. And Ben sings songs, like he's just another guy. He sings about things we can all relate with in a way that's touching, hilarious, inventive and real. And really, that's the crux of the Ben Folds charm. He's a real guy. He sings about believable characters, and he really feels what he sings. So, listen to him. You'll find at least one song to love.

Alright, that was a good soap box. I feel good. You should feel good. Group internet hug!

Much love interwebs,

- John Wesley

The Internet Today

2010-11-03T18:19:00.000-07:00

So, here I sit. I came home early from work, sick as a dog. Turns out hunting in Idaho in the rain and freezing cold has a tendency to tank your immune system, who knew? (For people who are opposed to hunting, read it as "hiking with firearms")

After a quick foray into Gears of War and then Grand Theft Auto IV I decided I didn't want to play video games. Also, I have almost finished Angel Season 5, and just kind of got sick of sitting on the couch being sick. So, naturally, I came downstairs, fired up the old lappy and got my browse on. After catching up on SMBC, XKCD and checking to see if our episode of Take On The Machine had aired yet, I decided to get on here and catch things up. Hence the me being here.

So, I'm blasting the Ben Folds* (Tiny Dancer, if you were wondering), chatting it up on Pidgin and feeling pretty good. We transformed the 2nd bedroom in our super swanky apartment into our control room. It's pretty hi-tech. It even has a TV/DVD/VCR combo. That's right, be impressed.

I opened up a new blog window, typed in a cool title, then without thinking my overweight, chubby pinkie decided to strike the 'enter' key, causing my post to immediately publish without any content. It was all downhill from there, resulting in what we have here now.

So now, there's no cohesive, unifying theme. There's no social commentary. And I'm not even going to mention the midterm elections. Instead, I'm going to break it down for a minute and say thanks for reading. Seriously. I love nothing more than writing, and hope to one day be payed for it. Which, yes, may be code for saying I'm a slightly lazy, educated, underachieving male unhappy with his current employment status. But, mark my words, it'll happen.

So thanks for taking the time to visit and subject yourselves to my thoughts, it sure means a lot. And here's to hoping, for your sake, that these suckers start to be better!

Much love Bloggerians -

John Wesley

Addiction, Wharff Style

2010-10-23T21:05:00.000-07:00

So, one of the coolest things about me (of which there are a ton) is the fact that I latch on to things. A lot. For some reason, I get something lodged in my brain, and then can't get it out for anywhere from 1 day to 3 months. It's really the best ever. Let me explain.

Recently, I decided to listen to some Ben Folds, completely out of the blue. I have now not listened to anything else at work for the last week and a half. (Except for some 8-bit jams, even I have to take a break once and again) Also, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World has taken over every other part of my life. I have now purchased the video games, memorized the soundtracks, bought all of the graphic novels and finished them. Twice.

I know, I know. You're probably overwhelmed by my awesomeness right now. And I do have to say, all-in-all, this is a pretty worthless post. I just wanted you to know.

Love you!

- John Wesley

Art = Crap

2010-10-08T08:12:00.000-07:00

So, I have developed a new theory. The new theory, as made extremely obvious by my post title, is that art is crap. Now, before I get lynched by the Liberal Arts Campaign, please allow me a moment to explain myself. Thank you.

First, let me clarify that making art is not crap. It is a really awesome outlet for people, both troubled and untroubled. Just imagine how many ears Van Gogh would have ended up with if he had never been allowed to paint. It also is a vehicle for lots of people to express themselves, which I am totally down with. Being a person who likes to pour his thoughts and emotions onto paper, I can understand that aspect of art all too well. (But, just for the record, I also think "classic literature" is crap. That's another post.)

I also appreciate the art history aspect of art. I think it is very interesting that you can literally track entire peoples and societies through their art. It's almost like a window into the lives of the individuals throughout time.

But enough apologies. I obviously came here for a reason. And that reason is that art, in being what is more broadly considered an "art" like poetry, music and drama, is a completely arbitrary thing. Who the heck decides what good art is and what bad art is? And for that matter, why do they get to decide?

Let's take, for an example, Mr. Pablo Picasso. The reason Picasso is so famous is that he was an extremely well-trained classical artist, who decided to instead skew all proportions and sense from his paintings. Now, one of his paintings sold for $49,500,000. So let me break that down for you. He was trained in what was the "correct" way of drawing and painting for the time, rejected all of that, made a bunch of cubey, blob-shaped people and became famous? It might be one of the very few jobs ever where you can become revered for doing things very poorly.

Now once again, I'm not attacking Picasso himself. He was probably a pretty cool guy. And I'm all about shaking up the rules. But to illustrate my point, how much would you pay for a Picasso if it didn't have Picasso's name on it? What if it said "Wharff" instead? Then what is considered an amazing piece of art suddenly becomes a really bad painting by some weirdo.

Maybe this anger stems from my disdain for the way society seems to work far too often. Or maybe it stems from the complete lack of any artistic skill I possess. Either way, I believe that art is crap. And don't even get me started on modern art.

Much love blogosphere!

- Wharff

The Cobwebs of Boredom

2010-09-12T21:18:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had one of those days? The kind where you sleep in way longer than any sane/healthy person should? Then you spend the rest of the day, slinking* around the house, doing absolutely nothing productive at all. When the sun finally decides to bid the fair state of Utah adieu by dipping behind the mountains, you sit up and think, "What the hell did I just do to myself?"

[*slinking differs from normal movement around the house in that at least 92% of it is in some form reclined]

It's much like falling asleep next to a heating unit (my parents fireplace is the example I will use, based on previous experience). While you're lying there, dozing off, things can't get much better. You think, "Dang! This is like being in a cocoon of warmth and comfort!". Then you wake up, lips chapped, body screaming from the heat. It's like a sunburn without the blisters or day at the beach. Misery.

Why do I do this to myself? Why do I convince myself, "All I want to do this weekend is be lazy. I just need a break."? Why do I so twist the week's events, that I am convinced the only way I could possibly recover is to veg out in front of the TV, Video Game, or bedroom wall? Let me tell you why:

I am a chump. Not in a specific sense, but in the broad, sweeping sense that we're all chumps. That's right, you too. We have all convinced ourselves that "work" equals "sadness, suicide contemplation, and funny smells". But I say unto all of us, nay.

Let us rise up. Let our voices be heard. Let's unify together, and set this night ablaze. Let us here make pact and contract to ne'er again curse the value of a good sweat, or "glisten" for the ladies. Let's dedicate ourselves to spending the weekend with every bit of intensity and fiery passion that our day-to-day lives have made tired. Let us remove our chip and cookie covered torsos from the lying down of death and despair!

And in all seriousness, I'm just kinda bummed I wasted an entire Sunday.

Much love to all you lovers -

John Wesley

DOUBLE POST!

2010-08-30T23:06:00.000-07:00

It took me so long to get out v 2.0 of the last post, and it didn't shake out exactly the way I wanted, so I thought I would throw in a bonus post here. That's right faithful readers, this one goes out directly to you.

First things first, if you haven't seen Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, shame on you. Go post haste and partake. You will not regret it. I will accept thanks in the form of text messages or e-mails for recommending it. Don't worry, that's just one free service I provide.

Second things second, I promise solemnly here and now, that I will faithfully post at least 2 times a week henceforth. (for those of you who see me everyday, feel free to gently remind of this solemn promise)

Much love blog world, and see you soon!

Why I'm a Nerd v 2.0

2010-08-02T20:27:00.000-07:00

Alright, so this could very easily run off the rails right at the very beginning. I am going to try to make a concise list of a few nerdy things that I really enjoy. Unfortunately (more for you than for me) I like a lot of nerdy things, and usually have a lot to say. I will try not to make this forever long though, for the children.

1. In Joss I Trust -

Anything made by Joss Whedon could basically be melted down and crafted into precious items worth millions of dollars. And I mean anything. Some of his greatest hits include: Firefly the series and the subsequent movie Serenity; Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog; Buffy The Vampire Slayer and spinoff Angel; and for those who still doubt, he just so happened to be a contributing writer on a little movie called Toy Story. So suck it. Seriously, lots of these shows have super negative feelings to them just because of silly prejudices. If you have never sat down and tried one, do it. You will see he has a level of character building and storytelling that is hard to find in any form of popular media.

2. STAR WARS -

This might not even really rank too high on the list of nerdy things anymore. 33 years and multiple million dollar revenue streams later the Star Wars universe is pretty common. This movie really helped to shape a lot of my young life, and was very much the standard that I held things up to for many years. Sure, now the lightsaber fights are a little hinky, and the effects are dated (even if they hold up surprising well...try watching movies made even 5 years ago that don't hold up) but the story was a sweeping epic that might well be what lit the fire of storytelling that I enjoy today, and touched, and will touch, the lives of people all over the world for generations.

3. Graphic Novels & Comic Books (Yes, there's a difference...Google it) -

For the most part, comic books and graphic novels are seen as a juvenile substitute for actually reading books, basically easier to read and more visually stimulating. It took me a while in life to really embrace this form, but once I started I immediately became immersed in a world of amazing stories of characters I grew to love. I completely suck at drawing, no matter the format. To see people tell stories just through characters facial expression, body posture, etc. blew my mind. If you want a good list of where to jump into graphic novels, shoot me a message. I've got a fat list waiting for you.

4. Science Rocks -

Most people get out of high school level science classes and never look back. Other people enjoy dabbling in a little biology or chemistry here and there. And yet other people keep and treasure textbooks from years long past to read and study. Something about science just captivates me, and it has ever since I was a child. Maybe it just boils down to a basic fascination with life itself, but I love figuring out the mysteries of the universe, even if someone else found the answers hundreds of years ago.

Why I'm a Nerd

2010-07-04T22:22:00.000-07:00

Just a quick heads up for all of you readers, this will NOT be a blog explaining all the nerdy things that I love. For that bit of awesome, you will have to tune in to Why I'm a Nerd Nummer Zwei. This will just be explaining what I see to be the MAJOR benefits of being a nerd. So basically, I'm luring you in with this one, so that you will begin to try some nerdy things I recommend next time. Prepare...

First, being nerdy allows me to like nerdy things. Is that circular logic? Yes! But it's okay because circular logic works. Why? Because circular logic works! But allow me to explain further. If you are cool and like nerdy things, you can be ostracized. If you're weird, and you like nerdy things, you become a goth. If you're always hyper and like nerdy things, you become a raver. But if you are nerdy and like nerdy things, it can be kind of cute and endearing, and more importantly, tolerated by the general population. Which as any person who believes in natural selection knows can be very important to survival.

Second, being nerdy allows me to always bombard those around me with random facts without much question. Example: NORMAL PERSON WATCHING STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE - "That Han Solo is quite the bragger." INTERESTED PERSON WATCHING STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE - "So, 12 parsecs much be a pretty fast time to finish the Kessel Run then, huh?" A NERD (ME) WATCHING STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE - "So, even though a parsec is really a unit of distance measurement, I look past that minor error, and accept they might have measure space/time different a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away..."

Third, I get excited by things that seem small in comparison to other people. 1/2 off sale at Kohl's? So what, clothes just get old an fall apart anyways. Felicia Day (the heartthrob Penny from the smash hit Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog) is going to be at Barnes and Noble talking about her internet series "The Guild" next Tuesday?!?!? Where's my tent?

Fourth, it opens up a whole new realm of humor. Observe Nerd Internet Joke.

Fifth, and perhaps most importantly, because it gives me an excuse to gather vast amounts of trivia about completely inconsequential things and cherish them for a lifetime. And oh, how I love doing just that.

So anyways, being a nerd is pretty tops. So, gear up, realize you want it, and then get ready for my list of things nerdtacular that you might now be more willing to enjoy. It'll come to you soon in Why I'm a Nerd Nummer Zwei!

Yes, love. Love to all.

Top Ten Personalities I Hate

2010-06-07T20:29:00.000-07:00

Well, it seems as though I have recently been on a list kick. Today, after a lot of introspection, I wondered if maybe lists are boring, and no fun for people to read. About 5 seconds later I wrote this list down so I could remember to post it. However, here you are getting two firsts. This list is actually going to go in order of my beliefs, and it's going to count down instead of up. That's right, buckle up.

10. Superficials -

While I did immediately think of about 100 girls when this word popped up into my head, I do not want to be sexist. Guys can be just as big of pretentious pretties in this day and age as any girl. The basic rule is if you spend more time checking, talking about, facebooking on, taking pictures of, and primping your looks then you do sleeping in a day, something needs to change.

9. The Oblivious -

Its that out of town license plate driving 5 miles per hour less than the speed limit, acting as though they will turn at every single street you pass, only to jerk right back out in front of you before you can pass them on the left. Or anyone in a grocery store or buffet-style restaurant.

8. Parents-In-Proxy -

These are the people who have absolutely no right or reason to be giving you advice on what you should do with your life, and yet they are probably the ones who do just that the most. Advice giving privileges are earned, not deserved folks.

7. Fakers -

You know the type, big, wide smile, little, beady eyes. And yet, behind the facade you just can't help but think that as soon as they get out of ear or eye shot they'll return to feasting on the souls of unborn children. I'd like to wipe the smirk off of all of their faces.

6. Stubborn Asses -

Woah, we just turned PG-13 up in here! But, I couldn't think of a better title. No matter what facts are presented, what wrongs are righted, what blasphemies and lies are pointed out they're not budging. They're "sticking to their principles". Stick away, jerkoffs.

5. Tough Guys (aka Douche Bags) -

No insult meant to guys who really are tough (mostly because they could easily beat me up). These are the guys who stand with their chest puffed out, wear tight, black t-shirts or multi-colored tank tops everywhere and who dance up in front of you during a Muse concert only to rub their sweaty bodies all over you and try to start a fight. I would say you probably go home and cry about the emptiness of your lives, but that implies an intelligence I don't feel comfortable attributing to you.

4. Idiots (Accidental) -

Dumb people suck. They seem to block up all roads of life, both literal and metaphorical, and for some reason seem to reproduce at a much higher rate than educated people. I think I would believe in Darwinian evolution more if these people became suddenly extinct.

3. Idiots (Purposeful) -

Listen, being stupid on purpose should be one of those things that is obviously and inherently a no-no. But we know, we know, your boyfriend just broke up with you, or you decided to get plastered with your buddies, or they just cancelled Arrested Development. You're hurting, and just want to take it out on other people so they can join in the giant piss parade you believe your life is. Take this advice: Read something that puts your life in perspective (i.e. Man's Search For Meaning, or Cari Stewart's Blog Post "2009: Worst Year Ever") and suck it up.

2. One Uppers -

Did your dad really start climbing Mt. Everest only to discover the Abominable Snowman whereupon he launched into a battle with mythological creatures throughout the world and went on to invent pants, the internet, and the flamethrower and is now working on curing cancer while perfecting a double backflip on his $500,000 prototype motorcycle in his free time? There are no words to describe how sad it is you don't realize we all know you're making it up.

1. Know-It-Alls -

These gentle people fall into 3 main categories: Those who really know everything, those who don't know anything, and those who know everything, but only about obscure topics you couldn't care any less about. The first sure are annoying, nobody likes going head-to-head with someone who's always right. But, at least they put their money where their mouth is. The second type make me wish I could clone them and then stick them in a room with their ditto until both their heads explode from sheer frustration. And as for the last kind, they will live their whole lives never knowing the "yeah"s, "uh-huh"s, and "really!?!"s they continuously hear are full of such contempt and lack of care.

WOW! That was really long. Thanks for enduring through that. For that, you receive a special sign off tonight.

I love you way more than those who didn't finish!

- John Wesley

Thought I'd Clear Something Up

2010-06-01T19:58:00.000-07:00

Just because there seems to be a lot of debate on the topic, I thought I'd clear something up. In nice, neat, numbered format.

Hierarchy of Accents

1. Scottish. Don't argue, you know it's true.

Edit For Hunter: 1.5. South African. Maybe it's just because I know the freaking amazing Bonanni family, but these guys have the edge over England for sure.

2. English. But not that pretentious English. The cool kind. You know who you are.

3. Irish. Would have pulled ahead of English, but too hard to understand.

4. New Zealander.

5. Australian. 4 and 5 might have been the other way around. Then, Flight of the Conchords.

6. Russian (and similar sounding places that I am offending by lumping into the same category). Only high on the list for it's scary points

7. Italian. Sorry guys, in my brain it's either Mario or Marlon Brando. Goofy either way.

8. Latin. Why do some sitcoms still pretend broken English is attractive?

9. Asian. Might bump up a few spots if being used in a parody of some type.

10. Pirate. Stop it already. The movies weren't that good. And if you were a pirate, you would have spent months at sea on a crappy ship, eaten rotten bread for most meals, and died of scurvy or dysentery. Didn't think about that, did you?

11. Valley Girl. You know your immediate group of friends, no matter how small or large, are the only people who like you, don't you?

Hope that makes things easier for all of us!

Bloggers-Love

- John Wesley

Things That Freak Me Out

2010-05-29T19:44:00.000-07:00

How do you segway into a topic that was clearly explained by the title of your post? Exactly.

1. Cell Phones - So, I'm sure you've all heard rumors about how cell phones can cause brain cancer, face cancer, testicle cancer and all sorts of other bad things. But my fear goes much, much deeper than that. Deep in the night, I lie awake and ask myself the really scary question: "How in the hell do these things work?!" Am I the only one who is constantly amazed that I can pick up a small box of wires and plastic, dial a 10-digit (yes foreign friends, I'm not taking you into consideration) number, and no matter how far away you are you pick up your small device and can hear my voice. And sure, it's not the exact same as my voice, but pretty stinking close. And that freaks me right out. And you smart friends, don't bother writing me and trying to explain radio signal and digital conversion and all that jazz. I get it. But you're probably afraid of spiders, or clowns or something else incredibly ridiculous. So get off my back.

2. Electricity - Have you ever gotten shocked? And I'm not talking wool socks on deep shag shocked, I'm talking coming to with a stiff arm shocked. If yes, enough said. If no, try it out, then refer to the "If yes" statement.

3. Colonoscopies - "the endoscopic examination of the colon and the distal part of the small bowel with a CCD camera or a fiber optic camera on a flexible tube passed through the anus" - ala Wikipedia. Sorry I had to expose you to that blogworld. But it's part of life, and it's scary.

4. Living on a fault line - 2012 starring John Cusack is arguably one of the worst movies of all time. However, the special effects were harrowing.

5. The Future Freaks Me Out - Ha ha, just kidding. I love you Motion City Soundtrack!

6. Girls Crying - There is nothing than can more immediately make me feel like I swallowed of 10 pound, cast-iron kettle of uncomfortable. Do I hug? Do I stand quietly? Do I make a joke? Since every crying bout comes coupled with its own set of dos and don'ts, it's like trying to defuse a bomb without a manual.

7. Bees, Wasps, Hornets, Yellow-Jackets, etc. - If the pain they caused was proportional to their size, I wouldn't care. But these guys pack a punch. A mean punch. And the notion "leave them alone and they'll leave you alone" is something parents tell kids to assuage their fears. Lies.

8. The Bloop - Yes, I'm a nerd. And yes, calling something ominously creepy "The Bloop" takes a lot of the punch out right away. But call me a believer, this freaks me out. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bloop

9. Latin - Some songs have Latin chanting or muttering in the backgrounds. Other songs don't make me feel like I am being possessed.

That's pretty much the list for right now, if I think of any more, you'll be the first to know!

Much love tierra de blog!

- John Wesley

The Song Remains The Same (Except for the Artist)

2010-05-24T21:44:00.000-07:00

Alright, I haven't been here for a long time. But I'm here now. And I think this has gone on too long. What you have all needed for a very long time is a list of the song covers that I personally enjoy. Now, you might think that this is me promoting the music that I like so that you will like it too. That's not true. I'm promoting the music that I like so that you can listen to it and make up your own mind. However, if you don't like it, it's because you're retarded. So here's some covers on my MP3 player of choice. (If you want promotion you can pay me Steve Jobs)

I thought first off, I would get the Muse songs out of the way, since you all know I am going to mention them. So here's the covers they do (which are the best of the list):

1. The Smiths - Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want - Muse

Such a very good remake. I love the dark, sad feeling. It's like the whole world is against you, and just by listening to this song, you're telling the world to screw itself. Which is a perfect segway to the next song.

2. Anthony Newley and Leslie Bricusse - Feeling Good - Muse

If you haven't heard this song, listen to it now. It has sheer rock power, and is the perfect angry song.

3. Really, Really Old People (Most famous The Animals) - The House of the Rising Sun - Muse

Amazing cover. Bellamy rocks the pipes so hard in this song it makes me weep.

4. Frankie Valli - Can't Take My Eyes Off of You - Muse

It started, and I had my doubts. I saw Heath Ledger sliding down poles and could hear marching band music. The the chorus hit me. Wow. Amazing.

Alright, on to the other covers.

5. The Guess Who - American Woman - Lenny Kravitz

Alright, I'm not a big fan of the Krav. But this cover was very spot on. It gave me a whole new appreciation for a classic.

6. Aerosmith - Dream On - Kelly Sweet

This girl sounds so amazing. She has one of those voices that makes me weak at the knees. And, it's a good cover too. I never thought I would enjoy a version of the song that is even slower and more ethereal, but I do. A lot.

7. Don Henley - The Boys of Summer - The Ataris

I love me some Ataris. And this is a perfect cover of this summer loving song. And, because of my fair skin, I get sunburned just listening to it.

8. Dolly Parton - Jolene - The White Stripes

It makes me so mad that people bash on this song because Jack didn't change the words to be from the point of view of a man instead of a woman. This is a damn fine song, and Jack nails it. In the live performance, you can smell the pain in his voice it's so thick.

9. John Lennon (NOT THE BEATLES!) - Imagine - A Perfect Circle

Take a classic song, put it in a minor key, and have Maynard James Keenan sing it and it actually turns out pretty cool, albeit super creepy.

10. The Carpenters - Superstar - Sonic Youth

While we're on creepy, never before has a Carpenters song made me pee my pants a little. But Sonic Youth made me. And I kind of liked it.

11. Disturbed - Down With The Sickness - Richard Cheese

Super corny, I know. But when I watched Dawn of the Dead (the new one) and heard this song, it literally made me laugh out loud. And I mean literally, not like when some people say literally but mean figuratively. Anyways, great, completely cheeseball jazz/lounge remakes of an iconic metal song.

12. Black Sabbath - War Pigs - Cake

Anything that Cake touches is pretty much golden. And this cover is no exception. Pretty stinking funny.

13. Michael Jackson - Smooth Criminal - Alien Ant Farm

Go ahead and judge. Yes, it's kind of lame early 2000's music. Yeah, it was overplayed for about a million years. But, it's a killer cover, and the music video is priceless. I wish I knew where that young kid who busts out MJ's moves was today.

14. The Postal Service - Such Great Heights - Iron & Wine

I LOVE the Postal Service. The song stands easily on it's own. But the slowed-down, all-acoustic version just makes me immediately chilled out.

15. The Beatles - Golden Slumbers - Ben Folds

Short, but very sweet. I always love me some Benny, and he hits this nail right on the head.

Well, that's my list for now. But, I'm sure I will subject you to my brain and opinions more soon.

Oh, and please leave comments with how much you agree with me, how much you disagree with me, and your own favorite cover songs. I will be happy, contemplate your level of friendship with me, and check them out respectively.

Much love Blogosphere!

- John Wesley

Book of Eli vs. Avatar

2010-02-09T21:16:00.000-08:00

Okay, okay. As everyone knows, I may be a little bit "opinionated" when it comes to just about everything in life. And I'm sure those that know me might substitute the word "opinionated" for a bit more colorful of a choice, but we'll stick with that for now.

Tonight, I want to rant specifically at movie reviewers. I have a beef. And that beef has been simmering for too long now. I used to be a pretty faithful follower of the popular website "Rotten Tomatoes" (link left out on purpose...they won't have me bring them any traffic), but as of late have been completely disappointed with what they have to say.

I recently saw two movies, and would like for a small moment to juxtapose those two movies,

with their respective ratings on that whore of a site, just to prove my personal opinion.

Movie 1: Avatar - Rotten Tomatoes Rating - 84%

Pros - This movie's visual effects completely blew me away. Everything I looked at was new and exciting, and I felt like a completely believable alien world had finally been crafted for movie going audiences everywhere. The planet Pandora was absolutely breathtaking in its design and scope. I literally had to catch my breath multiple times from the sheer beauty I was being bombarded with. Plus, the CGI was better than any movie I have ever seen, hands down. Even the interactions between the obviously CG animals and characters and their human counterparts was extremely well done. Also, all of the actors (minus Sigourney Weaver who was a cheap, throwupable decision) seemed to do a fantastic job in this fantasy world.

Cons - Worst....Story....Ever. And, unfortunately, that is the worst insult I can give a movie seeing that my dream job would be writing movies. Seriously, this was blatant plagiarism of stories that we all know. The formula for 1 Avatar is as follows: Take 1 part Fern Gully: The Last Rain Forest and mix well with 2 parts Pocahontas. Add 1/2 part Dances With Wolves for sex appeal. Let chill, and serve with a healthy mix of Outer Space. Seriously, there was nothing new and interesting. Plus, the movie was yet ANOTHER whinefest from the left-wing movie makers about global warming. Maybe it's just me living in Utah, but the world doesn't seem too much warmer to me. It makes me sad that nothing original could be thought up for so great a platform. In my book, this movie was a earth-shaking disaster of what could have been amazing. Just another sad cow-tow to the hippies, and yet another guilt trip to make me feel bad. Which I don't. Because I drive a Geo Metro.

Movie 2: The Book of Eli - Rotten Tomatoes Rating - 45%

Pros - The cinematography blows my mind. Such a realistic representation of a post-apocalypse world that it was great. The colors are so muted and distorted, that I felt like I was actually in a different world. The soundtrack is amazing, and literally adds a new dimension to the movie. The good guy? Denzel Washington. The bad guy? Gary Oldman. 'Nuff said. The story was AMAZING! Such a good roller coaster, all the while rooting for a man that literally has the world against him. And, it contains such a good twist ending that M. Night Shyamalan might never leave his room again. Also, extremely inspirational. It really changed the way I look at a lot of thing in life. Plus, it's the first movie that I can remember from recent history to take a Pro-God and Pro-Religion stance. Way to have the brass to make a movie with God as a hero. Thank you both to Gary Whitta for writing such an amazing and engaging story and the Hughes Brothers for making it happen.

Cons - The R rating. But even then, it's a bit of a blessing and a curse. While I do think they could have taken out a few "F" words here, and a little blood there, I feel like it almost added to the movie. You are literally disgusted by the bad guys, who completely lack morals or decency. And it makes the good guys stand out all the more white against the dark background. So really I only said it to be fair to the people who would be mad if I wrote no cons.

Anyways, this pisses me off. Reading peoples' reviews for both the movies literally makes me a little sick. Just because a movie is more than 3 hours long doesn't make it amazing. And just because the main character of a movie is a fighter for God doesn't make it detestable. Here are one review for each movie, both that made my stomach turn:

Avatar : "It's 100% genuinely undeniably categorically without-a-doubt unlike anything you've ever seen before and if you like graphics and special effects and stuff that's totally new, you'll love it."

First of all, go back to high school. Second of all, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A MOVIE BEFORE? Outside of the graphics and design department NOTHING was new about this movie. NOTHING.

The Book of Eli: "While the samurai stuff is super cool, the Bible business is preposterous."

Go see Ninja Cheerleaders 4. I hear there is absolutely no Bible business and plenty of blood, guts and breasts. Leave the actual movie watching to us who aren't run by hormones. Or jackassery.

Anyways, sorry this was so long and rambling. I just had to get it off my chest. And I'm sure some of you disagree, and I really am okay with that. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. And anyone who wants is entitled to mine.

Much love blog world

- John Wesley

10 Reasons Why Dr. Gregory House is the Best Doctor The World Has Ever Seen

2010-01-12T21:43:00.000-08:00

The subject explains most of what I'm doing here. So here goes:

1. I have always wanted a doctor that would tell me the truth. Even if that truth is that I'm an idiot and my crappy lifestyle made me sick. And, he actually does what a doctor is supposed to do. (Sorry I am so jaded when it comes to doctors. I had one good one, and the rest have been idiots.)

2. He's a freaking genius. Period.

3. If he is interested enough in your case, it either means he is going to save your life, or you will die. No middle ground to worry about.

4. He reads between the lines. All the lines.

5. House can read people more easily than Air Force pilots can read billboards from 10 yards away.

6. He hates social norms. Why does that qualify him? Because people who subscribe to all social norms are like happy cows.

7. You'll walk away with some really zippy one-liners!

8. He does everything. While stoned. Better than anyone else does anything.

9. He's pretty darn handsome.

10. While many people are sickened by how rude he is, I think he might be the easiest character to understand in history. He does what he thinks is right. Always.

In conclusion. I love House.

Finding Meaning in Monotony

2010-01-07T20:05:00.000-08:00

So, as with all jobs, mine can sometimes get a little bit monotonous. And by a little bit, I mean extremely. It's not that shuffling paperwork all day long is boring, it's just that I don't want to do it for the rest of my life. And that it's boring. Real boring. So, as I was sitting there, reviewing claims today, I thought of another awesome book title for a book I wish I would write. And that book title would be the title of this post.

So far I don't really know what I would put in the book, because I don't really know how to do that myself yet. But I do know that it's possible. And I know that some of the happiest people that I know do that. They hold the most monotonous jobs on the face of the planet, but that doesn't stop them from being happy as clams. (Which, by the way, I have never understood. If you are going to choose an animal to be the representative for happiness why choose one that is either killed for what it contains, or killed to put in a chowder. Doesn't sound very happy at all!)

I do know that no matter what you do in life, it can be very boring and repetitive. But I also know that it could be very fun, depending on your attitude. I guess that's the real key. Once again life comes back to attitude. The better your attitude, the better life seems to go. And I guess, when it comes right down to it, that's how you find meaning in monotony. And there's the basis for my book. (For those who don't know, I am also writing a book on social networking called Fakebook Friends. Awesome, right?)

Anyways, those are my thoughts for today. But I do also have to throw out props to my friend Deven, who once again handed my butt to me in a game of Starcraft today. Mark my words Deven, I will defeat you one day!

Much love!

- John Wesley

Good Friends

2010-01-06T11:53:00.000-08:00

You know, there are some things in life that are just awesome. Clothes right out of the dryer, a good book on a rainy day, motorcycling down the 101 with the sun above and the wind in your face, and high caloric intake holidays.

But, as the title of this post might have hinted, one of my favorite things is good friends. They come in all shapes and sizes, and carry with them all sorts of past memories, ideas about life, and diseases (I'm looking at you diabetic Cameron). However, friends all have something in common. They all rock. They're the people who you can whine to when life sucks, or whine to when life is awesome, and you can listen to whine and they don't annoy the crap out of you. Which is just the very tip of the Friends-r-Awesome Iceberg.

Lately I've been thinking about my friends, and have to say I'm really lucky. I have my old friends that I met upon arriving on this foreign soil of Utah. And even though we (every single friend and I) started out our relationships with something that can only be described as mutual loathing, it blossomed and grew into beautiful friendship.

I think about my high school friends that I run into randomly (Rachel and Tim Clawson have an adorable baby!), friends that I see at parties, and friends that read my blog!

I think of College friends who I hardly ever see, and now that I hardly ever get on Facebook, need to keep in better contact with.

I think of mission friends who are absolutely insane, semi-normal, and everywhere in between.

But lately I have thought most about new friends. New friends are awesome. It's like getting a new toy in the mail. You get home and it's waiting there, ready to be your new friend. You pop them open, struggle with the packaging a little, and voila! New friend.

So this goes out to you, friends of all shapes and sizes. I love you. You rock. And if you're thinking somewhere in the back of your head, "does he mean me?" I do. Really do. So there.

Peace out blog-world!

John Wesley

One More Circle Around the Sun

2010-01-05T17:40:00.000-08:00

Long time, no post. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm real sorry. Just forgive me, and we'll get on with it already! Thank you. (For those who forgave...those who didn't, reaaaal mature.)

So this new loop around Old Yellow finds us all in a strange place. You see, we have been conditioned since the womb that if there are any changes that we would like to make to ourselves, the beginning of a new year holds magical power that helps us make said changes. Which explains why I saw so many people jogging on the morning of January 1, 2, and 3 in ill fitting jogging clothes, looking like the were getting the very life sucked out of their bodies by the mouth. For some reason, I don't see those people anymore. Must be something too that...

But, seeing as I have been conditioned as well, I decided to make a few changes myself, as follows:

Write on Blog More. (Self Explanatory)
Naughty Bad Words Less. (Having a nephew that is soon approaching speaking age helps immensely. If his first word was "shit" or "damn" my big sister would kill me. Love ya Brandi!)
Be Nice-r. (Nice for those who think I'm a douche. Nicer for those who already think I'm somewhat nice)
See Muse in Concert. (Self-serving? Maybe. But hey, they're my resolutions)
Write for NarfBiscuits. (A News Punch in the Neck, check 'er out)
Explore Various Employment Opportunities. (More $$ please!)
Think of More Resolutions.

And there you go. Those who know me, feel free to recommend any resolutions you stand in need of. I just might do them, for you. But not you, those who didn't forgive me. You I will mock.

Well, here's to a year of happy blogging! I hope this finds you well, in good health, and surrounded by those who love/can stand you and your presence.

Much love blog world!

- John Wesley

Where art thou, Muse, that thou forget'st so long

2009-07-24T16:46:00.000-07:00

After listening to absolutely nothing but Stuff You Should Know podcasts and Muse for the last 48 hours, I have had a few epiphanies: First, I am probably the worst person to listen to music with on the face of the planet. Either I don't listen to anything for more than 30 seconds, or I listen to the same song over and over again. And over. And over. Ever since I got the H.A.A.R.P. CD, I have listened to it end-to-end about 15 times. For those of you who don't know, that's a live Muse CD. And never have I been more impressed with a band's live performance. These guys have even more firmly locked their position as my favorite post-80's band. And I only say post-80's because no one will dethrone The Beatles. Sorry.

Second epiphany is that either I have an as-yet undiagnosed mental condition in which I am addicted to learning new material, or... (see blog postscript) well, I haven't postulated the "or" condition to that statement yet, but while typing the rest of this post, I'll try to think something really bright up, and add it in later. Point being, I love learning about anything. Or as close to anything as anyone else I've ever met. This is good and bad. Good, because I love learning anything. Bad, because it constantly dredges up past regrets, like the not just going to medical school thing. Ah, life.

Third epiphany is that Muse is freaking amazing. I don't know if it really counts as an epiphany if I have already come to that conclusion in the past, but I am calling it one anyways. When listening to them, it is so hard to believe that it really is only three guys pumping out those amazing melodies. And if you like their music, take time to learn the lyrics. Amazing. This isn't any of the contrived pop-punk, emo-alternative that so many bands are chunking out today. (3OH!3 I'm looking at you. Never has someone rolled in their grave as much as when the phrase "do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips" was uttered. Shame on you.) So, Muse rocks. Actually, the rock so much that they transcend the label rock and create their own, which is so powerful it shall remain unlabled. Says me.

Lots of softball this week, which was fantastic. Matt Garn came down from Riverton to play on Wednesday, and we had quite the turn out. Since we were playing on a little league field we had to readjust the rules a little bit, but it resulted in me pounding a pretty awesome left-handed homerun which story I have recounted to everyone in my family, all my friends, and multiple co-workers until they have polietely asked me to shut up. Also played with Kyle's singles' ward yesterday, which was on a crappy field with crappy players. But let's be honest, softball is softball.

Life is good. Very good. Marriage is quickly approaching which is awesome. And that's probably as good a place as any to hose off. Stay classy, much love.

Blog Postscipt:
or I am meant to do something amazing with this sponge of a brain I have been granted. Thanks for your patience.

- John Wesley

When it Rains...

2009-07-20T21:08:00.000-07:00

Allow me, if you will, to explain one of my pet peeves. A co-worker, Cari Stewart, and I were talking today about how dumb it is that the majority of our blog posts/journal entries/random scribbles on scraps of paper around our rooms are all about bad things. It is kind of a sad commentary on us as human beings that the only time we keep track of what is happening to us is when we are said or pissed off. Lame sauce. I joked that it will be really sad when our respective grandkids are convinced that we lived in the most pitiful states of existence known to mankind. With that being said, let me expound on the worst day known recently to the Wharffs.

So I woke up to be slambasted with 2 bits of news. 1, my dad had been terminated from his position with the railroad (that, he has had since he was 19 years old) and that my grandmother Wharff was in the hospital with a blistering fever and pneumonia. Things only became better when my mom called me at work to tell me that my dad was also going to have to a specialist due to his own health problems. That makes 3 bases of crap. The grand slam was then hit by returning home to a broken air conditioner. In 100 degree weather.

Now time for the good. Grandma has been released from the hospital, Dad is doing just fine, the work thing will be worked out, and I am typing in the comfort of cool 73 degree weather. Moral of the story, "Ooh yeah, life goes on...long after the thrill of living is gone." I find that John Cougar Mellencamp can describe a lot of life's true feelings. Except I don't know why such an upbeat song is really talking about a point in life where you don't really care about life anymore. Or maybe I don't understand his amazing lyricism. The world may never know.

Bees? Beads! Beads?

2009-05-21T22:23:00.000-07:00

Oh, how I love Arrested Development. Ne'er has a more funny show graced the silver screen. Well, technically, I guess my television is not the silver screen. I wonder if they have a metal assigned to television. Like the micah screen. Or the aluminum screen. Oh well, guess I'll have to look that up. I've been watching through AD with Loran, and I love seeing it all again! I know she loves it, because she's laughing in all the right spots, but every single time I feast upon it I am more amazed by how hilarious it really is. It's pretty much the ultimate onion comedy. (In case that was lost on you, I was referencing how the show seems to have many layers, much like an onion. Also, if you cut through it, you will most surely cry)

Finished Ender's Shadow for the ump-teenth time last night. Man, I really do love those books. Started in just a little on Shadow of the Hegemon. Orson Scott Card, if you ever lower your standards greatly, and happen upon my blog, I want you to know that you are my hero. Every time I read one of your books, my flame to be an author gets rekindled. It's funny that I would talk about Arrested Development and my aspiring to be something related to the liberal arts in the same post. Hope that isn't foreshadowing...

While I am throwing out props, I am still loving all of the podcasts by the crew from www.howstuffworks.com. They are so cool, and informative. Now I don't feel like I am just melting my brain away with rock music every day as I work. Also, the daily update from The Onion is also classic.

Well, that's enough props for tonight. I wanted to leave on a philosophical note, that is definitely not new. But I wanted to put it in my own words.

The other day at work, we had a huge conversation all about prejudices and racism. And I stand firmly by the believe that trying to make everyone the same does nothing but perpetuate both. So many people have this idea in their heads that if they make it out like everyone is the exact same, then all of a sudden racism and prejudice will die. What a joke. The way to eliminate racism and prejudices is to acknowledge all of our differences, and then accept each other the way we are despite those differences. And until we do that, we're just going to make things worse.

Those are my thoughts. If you have some, feel free to let me know. Or don't. And if you don't have thoughts, let me know about that too.

Post out,

- John Wesley

Another Day, Another Dollar

2009-05-19T23:19:00.000-07:00

After last night's softball spectacular, and waking up half an hour early to a nightmare, I was sure that today was doomed...But before you get all depressed, and click the "Back" button, everything turned out just perfect.

Right now I am slightly distracted because I think Wayne Newton is guest starring on "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air". Which is totally awesome. Wow, back to business.

Work was normal enough, if by normal enough you take my meaning to be the exact same as every other day. Which isn't necessarily bad. And it actually helped me come to an important conclusion that I have only approached various other times. Which is that life, at times, can seem very repetitive. But really, it's only as repetitive as you make it. Every single day can have just a little bit different sort of a flair to it, or not. As you decide.

Also, Loran and I had a fantastic talk tonight, and I am once again reminded how much I love her. I am pretty stinking excited for this whole marrying her thing.

Well, that's my knowledge for today. Partially because I didn't do much, but more because I need to get some sleep. Much love to blog world.

- John Wesley

A Very Busy Monday

2009-05-18T16:29:00.000-07:00

Today for work we had our "Client Relations Seminar" which Brock from work and I both agreed sounds semi-inappropriate. After all, we definitely don't want to have any relations with our clients. Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk. Basically it consisted of sitting in a Marriott meeting room and listening to people (myself included) go on and on about how we need to treat our clients. Afterwards, for our reward, we got to go bowling and had Subway sandwiches. Small sidenote, now that I am trying to do this blogging thing regularly, a lot of weird thoughts come into my mind, like; do I need to copyright the name Subway? Do I need to appropriately footnote my sources? It turns out a serious writing class can ruin the good, plain fun of a brain to keyboard dump. No offense Ronda, I loved your class!

Anyways, the work activity helped to refresh in my mind the hatred I have for bowling. It is one of those skills that I do not have, and would never give developing said skills a second thought. But hey, as long as I get paid to not work, I shouldn't complain, right? Right.

Tonight I played about the worst softball seen by man or beast. We lost, big time. And a heaping portion of the blame falls squarely on my shoulders. And in true Forrest Gump style, that's all I have to say about that.

I can already guess that work tomorrow is not going to be much fun, what with today being less than a half day, and the bad games tonight. But I will be excited to spend some real, quality time with Loran. Days like these are bittersweet, because I love that she comes to the games, and at the same time feel like I hardly got to see her at all. Ah, young love.

Things on the joint blog are going well. I have to say I am freaking proud of my little sister. She has become quite the little writer in her on right. Ha ha, a small play on words there. I know there are only two posts, but I am excited already to see where this takes us!

And with that, I think I need to get some sleep. Much love to all of you in internets (yes, I meant to write the internets)!

John Wesley

Beginning of a New Week!

2009-05-17T22:18:00.000-07:00

Hey there friendly blogger buddies. It's the end of another day here at Wharff Family Central, and a good day it has been. There's just something about spending a lazy Sunday with people you love that makes for a good beginning to a week.

Today I did the church thing, and it was kind of weird. A vastly large part of our group of friends has recently relocated to Orem, leaving us stranded up at the singles' ward. And those of you who know me well know how I feel about singles' wards. And those who don't know me well I'll ruin the surprise, I don't like them. But, we (Brittanys (plural on purpose), Loran and I. And in losing a few, we gained one! Loran's best friend Whitney has moved down from Logan for the summer, and I know she is super psyched about that one, and I am pretty excited as well.

Tomorrow is the start of another work week, and I am not dreading it as bad as I usually do. Probably because I spent the entire weekend with Loran, and we actually had fun doing practically nothing! And Brand and BJ, with Baby Bennett in tow of course, visited all day yesterday, rounding out last week nicely.

Also, tomorrow for work we have a seminar of sorts where we are going to learn things about how to be better employees. I get to give a little motivational speech, and we all know how much I love to hear my own voice. Aftewords, we have been seperated out into bowling teams. Pretty sure my team is going to get its collective can handed to it, but we'll probably have the most fun.

Tomorrow is also the 2nd day for our doubleheader softball league, and I think we have these games in the bag. Last week was kind of rocky because we were all trying to play like baseball players, and we had field positioning a little off. But hey, we dialed it in. So don't judge us. Until after these games. Then judge freely.

A little post script to that last paragraph, since I didn't write on last weeks game, it's of worth to note that I completely blew out my ankle, for almost no good reason at all and had to sit out the last half of the last game. So tomorrow will be played with ankle brace firmly in place, like Loran wanted it to be last game. Just more proof that you should always trust your fiancee fellers.

Well, before I run off to write on another blog, let me just take a second to plug that blog that I am going to go write on. My little sister Brittany and I are both kind of alike. We both absolutely love writing, and decided to try a little joint venture, Coen Brothers' style. We are going to write a story, one day at a time, one chunk at a time, taking turns. You can find said work at endersworshippers.blogspot.com. Check it out. And if the endersworshippers means anything to you, you might also get a kick out of the fact the blogs name is The MD Device. Thank you Orson.

Much love to the digital world,

John Wesley

Born Again, Baby!

2009-05-16T18:37:00.000-07:00

Hey one and all, and welcome once again to a few moments of my brain. I recently have had a life-altering experience. I say life-altering, because when people say "life-changing" in lieu of "life-altering" I almost immediately begin to think that they're kind of unbalanced. So now, instead of being seen as being unbalance, maybe people will just think I try to use alternate words to sound smart. Which practice I neither affirm nor deny.

At work a good man by the name of John Sigety (who would probably pout profusely if I didn't credit him for his help) introduced me to the family of podcasts released by howstuffworks.com. Now, every day since then, I have not listened to one song at work. Instead I am filling my brain with even more information that I may or may not ever use.

My friends, family and fiancee are a little worried about this new practice, as they think that I already have so much useless trivia stored in my brain, that I very well may pop if I try to cram more in there. I personally don't think death by overstorage of information is even possible, but hey, maybe the guys as Stuff You Should Know should do a podcast on that! Hmm...

Anyways, this whole last month, with the inclusion of the new podcasts, has been a bit of a re-birth for me. I have started regularly reading novels again, even if half of them are ones that I have already read. But more than that, I have the fire and passion for reading back. Last night I went to Barnes & Noble with my little sister Brittany and fiancee Loran to find a few books for myself. While we were waiting for the friendly customer service rep to find a book for me in the back room, we started looking at one of their tables labled "Summer Reads". It was fun to look at all the books that they have, that I absolutely love, or have heard fantastic things about. I giggled multiple times out loud upon finding certain books that I love.

I am pretty pumped about this, to say the least. It's like I am life has started again, and maybe I can start writing regularly again! That would be very cool. Also, I have been seriously debating the idea of starting a podcast myself. A kind of 8-5 philosophy, where friends, co-workers and I get together and bs about stuff that we all have opinions on. It s fun to debate about things at work, and I thought "Why not take the joy to the masses?", and then smiled at what a brilliant idea that was. So, more bulletins as events warrant (a phrase that I have loved, misquoted, and not understood since I first read it in Calvin & Hobbes years ago) about whether or not a Wharff-influenced podcast is on the horizon. Exciting times!

As for life, it is still good, and Baby Bennett is doing really well. Brandi and BJ came to visit today and we, along with Dad and Britt went to see the new X-men Origins movie that they hadn't seen yet. Which reminds me of another digression. The main reason that matinee movies suck is because you get an extremely fun thing smack in the middle of the day, and then sit around wondering what to do for the rest of the day just makes me grumpy.

Anywho, I hope all is well for anyone who might read this. And maybe if I start writing more often, that statement will actually apply to people!

Much love, and a firm command to visit howstuffworks.com and also suscribe to their podcasts,

John Wesley

Crazy Uncle John

2009-04-25T14:40:00.000-07:00

So, I never thought the day would actually come, but I am a legit uncle now. It's kind of weird, but not as weird as I thought it would be. Yesterday, Loran, Brittany and I headed up to the hospital to see Brandi and BJ and new baby Bennett. I don't think I said two words the whole way up to the hospital, because I may or may not have been having a mini panic attack. But once I got there, and saw that Mom and Baby were okay, I felt a whole lot better. It's actually a really cool feeling. BJ is going to be a great Dad. For such a smiley guy, I don't think I have seen him smile THAT much, ever. And Brandi was tired, but doing very good. And since this little guy is the first grandbaby on both sides of the family, we are all pretty sure he is going to be spoiled beyond rotten. So, all in all, a very good day for the Wharff/Mohlman crew!

Wow...Time to play catchup...

2009-04-20T17:45:00.000-07:00

Alright. Let's see how quickly I can do this. Since September, Brandi (the older sis) has gotten pregnant, and is now due any day. I still am not going to school at all, and am obviously still having a hard time actually sitting down to write. The most important news, however, is the fact that I am now engaged to the most awesome girl on the face of the planet! For some reason, unfathomable to me, Loran Jane Ross has agreed to marry me. Which is pretty much the best news of my lifetime, let alone of this blog. Also, just today, my good friends Ryan and Jenna Meyers had their first baby which is pretty awesome. I would just like to point out that Ryan did not want to have the baby today, what with it being Hitler's birthday, 10 year anniversary of the Columbine shootings, however-many year anniversary of the Oklahoma City Bombing, and international pot smoking day...however, I think today was a great day to have a baby, and I am completely psyched for them. Better teach him drug awareness early guys. Anywhoodle, I am going to get some food with my fiancee. Mmm, that feels good to say. Fiancee. FianCee FiAncee. Mmm. Much love to the peeps, and hopefully here's to more entries soon!

Meltdown Day 2

2008-09-17T22:07:00.000-07:00

Yup, still sick. It really bites. Looking on the bright side, though, Justin and Matt came over tonight and we hung out. It was cool, even thought it's only been like a week, it felt really good to hang out with the both of them again. Let's see...Justin and I watched Juno, which I really love. Dialogue is brilliant. Other than that, a pretty chill day. Went to the doc's and got a prescription for gay anti-biotics. Looks like they don't know what's wrong with me, yet again. Shouldn't be surprised. Oh well, c'est la vie. Until next time.

Swollen Shenanigans

2008-09-16T21:55:00.000-07:00

Well, I would say that I won't waste your time apologizing for not writing in months, but even I realize what a gigantic, self-defeatist idea that is. So, sorry. Well, I woke up this morning with a little tickle of soreness in my throat, like some miniture guy with a wire paintbrush going to town on my esophagus. Over the day it has slowly progressed to the point where I am sure that my entire life is going to end. Alright, alright...I know it's not going to end, but I am pretty sure that my airway is almost all the way restricted, and it sure doesn't feel like milk and honey gliding down my throat.

In order to make sure this whole post isn't just a big whine-fest, I'll catch you up on life. I am now going to work and school, both full-time which is just as much fun as I imagined it being. I love my classes so far, and really like the homework load. So that's good. Work is still work, which is to be expected.

Other than that, things are pretty good. Which is what everyone says, without ever really quantifying what they mean by it. So there. That's what I leave you with. You now know that I am good, and don't even know what that really means. Mwah ha ha.

Bless My Heart

2008-04-08T21:55:00.000-07:00

So, tomorrow I get to go back to the cardiologist, where they are going to tell me all about why my heart is deciding to march to the beat of his own drummer. I just really hope they have some conclusive stuff to say. I, and I don't think I'm alone here, am super sick of doctors just telling me that they "don't really know what's wrong, but here's some (insert name of prescription medication) to try. If it doesn't work, come back in". I mean, this is my stinking heart here, I really would like to know. Huff. Anyways, so I'm excited to see what's going on. Other than that, I saw the movie 21 tonight, and I was actually pretty impressed. I heard that a bunch of people really didn't like it, but I thought that it was pretty cool. Maybe that's because I love Jim Sturgess, but I don't really know. Other than that, things are on normal flow. Pretty happy about that!

5 Days Later

2008-04-06T09:33:00.000-07:00

Now you see exactly what I mean when I tell you that I find it difficult to write everyday. Don't think that I was out of the house and super busy every night, no, no, quite the contrary. I thought about writing every night, and then never did. Oh well, I guess I'm here now so that means something. Well, Wednesday I had the distinguished privilege to attend the American Fork City Traffic School. And boy, was I dreading it. But upon arriving, I bumped into a good friend, Jeff Connell, who had served in the same mission as me. That was the first good thing. Then our teacher, Officer Christensen, was just about the funniest/coolest police officer I have ever met. So, it was actually a kind of fun way to spend an hour on a Wednesday night. On Thursday I worked, and then went to hang out with Nicki, Tom and Kelli. It was a blast, even though we watched Shrek 3 and I thought it was really stupid. Friday night was when we celebrate Heather's birthday, and that was a blast. We decided to play Catch Phrase, and my skills infuriated two girls at the party. Always fun. Tom's Mexican friends came into town from Oakland, so I went and bummed around with them after that. It was crazy, but really fun to hang out with Spanish speakers again. Then, at about 11, I went to meet with two really good friends from my mission, Sister Gerber and Sister Peterson, and we annoyed the staff of Applebee's until about 1 in the morning. Saturday was filled with craziness. I had to go replace my front tires on my car, thanks to a semi-large nail who wasn't intimidated by my extremely masculine Chevy Metro. Then I got to spend some time with old mission friends, which was weird but turned out to be good. And then, Saturday night, yet another viewing of Across the Universe, which always makes me happy for the next few days.

Well, I think that was definitely the most dry and factual post I have had yet. Sorry about that! Next time I promise to get lost on a tangent, you can bank on that!

...Tuesday

2008-04-01T20:38:00.000-07:00

So, a ways back my good friend Tom got me completely and ridiculously addicted to the television show Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I know, I know, don't judge. Anyways, I never thought that I would enjoy it in a million years, but turns out it is fantastically amazing. Anyways...so I have been wasting a lot of time watching it as of late, it's kind of cool. I have no idea exactly where that thought was going, but there it is anyways. Today at work was kind of nuts, but then again, it always is. For the most part, another solidly par-for-the-course day for me.

Manic Monday

2008-03-31T17:42:00.000-07:00

So today was the culmination of a couple of weeks of craziness. At work we had to meet these new monthly incentives that pretty much encompass everything that we do. And I just barely finished about 40 minutes before closing. Somethings never change, including my ability to do more work more quickly and better while under the stress of a deadline. Maybe that is why I liked journalism so much, hmmm.... I am actually a lot more happy with my job than I thought I would be when I first got it. I work with a lot of cool people, and it's a very chill environment without just being a madhouse. I like it a lot. Other than that, today was a very normal day. Which isn't a bad thing. Life is made up of those. Days, that is. So, might as well have a good time, even if you're doing the same thing as yesterday! Oh, and for those who I haven't already sold on this website Live Plasma is just about the coolest thing since toast. So check it out. Peace.

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

2008-03-30T20:58:00.001-07:00

So, kind of ironic, I hate keeping a journal. That's right, me, the kid who loves to write. I guess some things in life just don't make any sense. Anyways, I was talking to people at work, who just so happen to subscribe to this whole crazy blog phenomenon that is sweeping the world, and thought, "Hey! You seem to have way too much time on your hands, maybe you could do one of those blog thingies!" So here I am. I don't really know whether this is going to be a log of what I do in my life, random rantings and ravings, or a delightful smattering of the two, but it should be a lot of fun. I think that it will be very enjoyable to subject whomever happens upon this blog to my random thoughts. There's an empowering idea. So, here goes nothing, welcome one and all. Strap in and hold on, it's probably going to be an interesting ride.